When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
