got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
