What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
