i just had sex bonerless
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize