She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
