my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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