Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
