I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize