I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
