when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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