I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
