I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
