He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
