Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We got so high we made milksteak
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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