i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
