I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
