she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
