I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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