Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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