I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
