I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno