Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (2918) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so horny!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so hungry

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  For your pussy...

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  (508): I'm so horny! (781): I'm so hungry (508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY! (781): For your pussy... http://tfl.nu/7j50
  Replies (65) Good night (24119) Bad night (1631)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?

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  (973): who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/e2ho
  Replies (38) Good night (1175) Bad night (3471)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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  (775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2
  Replies (53) Good night (9141) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (6146) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.

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  (509): My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment. http://tfl.nu/j2q1
  Replies (9) Good night (5465) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."

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  (318): He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds." http://tfl.nu/nj0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2798) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.

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  (207): I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots. http://tfl.nu/eygf
  Replies (5) Good night (3356) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.

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  (303): Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird. http://tfl.nu/kz0v
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (3342)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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  (989): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/prf6
  Replies (14) Good night (4929) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.

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  (775): he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me. http://tfl.nu/rwrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3198) Bad night (5065)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

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  (503): College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk. http://tfl.nu/e4bz
  Replies (12) Good night (900) Bad night (4142)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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  (780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93
  Replies (11) Good night (936) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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  (408): I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility. http://tfl.nu/5lhi
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  I'm so proud, I have tears

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  (330): I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out. (1-330): I'm so proud, I have tears http://tfl.nu/7h1f
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (258)

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