Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.

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  (312): Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis. http://tfl.nu/m3hq
  Replies (12) Good night (1981) Bad night (678)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.

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  (610): the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing. http://tfl.nu/gyso
  Replies (21) Good night (6263) Bad night (815)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming

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  (862): this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming http://tfl.nu/d5m0
  Replies (34) Good night (4163) Bad night (993)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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  (210): I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too http://tfl.nu/8tiw
  Replies (10) Good night (7470) Bad night (922)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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  (780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop. http://tfl.nu/zx6t
  Replies (31) Good night (5603) Bad night (1084)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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  (250): I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk. http://tfl.nu/fti6
  Replies (9) Good night (3043) Bad night (913)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

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  (724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex. http://tfl.nu/opu2
  Replies (11) Good night (4042) Bad night (871)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye

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  (781): No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye http://tfl.nu/qnov
  Replies (12) Good night (1159) Bad night (2854)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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  (703): Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress. http://tfl.nu/zjlr
  Replies (7) Good night (2609) Bad night (1079)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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  (403): also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy. http://tfl.nu/tn0z
  Replies (15) Good night (3825) Bad night (554)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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  (203): You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified. (508): Did it finish? http://tfl.nu/ahm8
  Replies (4) Good night (3024) Bad night (901)
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  (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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  (949): I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem http://tfl.nu/xr6o
  Replies (4) Good night (1096) Bad night (653)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.

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  (321): Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments. http://tfl.nu/oyly
  Replies (2) Good night (971) Bad night (354)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.

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  (908): I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf. http://tfl.nu/lxfv
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (438)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?

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  (480): He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right? http://tfl.nu/qib4
  Replies (6) Good night (595) Bad night (743)

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