Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You can't motorboat a personality
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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