did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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