The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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