I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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