Pappa wants mamma naked
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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