Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
