if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need to wash the frat house off of me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I would fuck him just for his dog
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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