and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize