I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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