Jerry, you need to find god
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You smell like stripper and shame
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
