so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
