My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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