Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
