i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
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driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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