How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
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That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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