Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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