walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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