I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
