I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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