why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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