I'm eating all of the evidence.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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