if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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