You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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