I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
