Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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