I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
