"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
