There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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