Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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