i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
