is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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