they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
