he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize