3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.