Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.