I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
